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Humor: Project Management Speak vs. Business Analysis Wisdom

It is common for project managers to question the number of BAs they need on a project or how much time needs to be spent on analysis. The underlying concern seems to be a fear of “analysis paralysis”. Whilst not overtly stated, for many project managers, analysis is a necessary evil that if not carefully controlled, will delay the “real” work of writing the code and delivering the system. No doubt this view has some basis in their past experience of using BAs. However, an examination of common project management proverbs and folklore might suggest the real problem lies in another direction...

Project Manager speak
Business Analyst Wisdom
The same work under the same conditions will be estimated differently by ten different estimators or by one estimator at ten different times
When the PM says this, get ready for him cutting your estimates in half
It’s just a small increase in scope
The most valuable and least used word in a project manager's vocabulary is "NO"
I told them we could deliver on time
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything (used after the BA questions the wisdom of a commitment given by the PM to the Project Board)
Exactly! (used by the BA in response)
Too few people on a project can't solve the problems - too many create more problems than they solve
So I guess we’re not getting that additional resource we need then?
A user will tell you anything you ask about, but nothing more
Exactly. That’s why you should have sent someone who would ask the right questions!
A user is somebody who tells you what they want the day you give them what they asked for
That’s what happens when you shortcut proper analysis
Of several possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient is the correct one
Er..., how about asking which is the correct one?
(Why are project managers so frightened of open, honest discussion?)
What you don’t know hurts you
What the PM doesn’t know usually hurts the analysts working for him
The conditions attached to a promise are forgotten, only the promise is remembered (when complaining about the Project Board)
The conditions attached to a promise are forgotten, only the promise is remembered (when complaining about the Project Manager)
The sooner we begin coding the sooner we deliver
The sooner we begin coding the sooner we deliver something the users don’t want and the later we realise the benefits due to the increased re-work
If you don't plan, it doesn't work. If you do plan, it doesn't work either. Why plan!
Answer: try planning properly
Project management is about balancing the triangle of time, cost and quality
Ever met a project manager with a good sense of balance?
When all's said and done a lot more is said than done
Not much hope of gathering detailed requirements then
I told the project board everything is on schedule
Bang goes my vacation!
We have successfully implemented the system with only a few minor teething problems
Yeah, teething problems like flaky performance, user dissatisfaction and de-scoped essential functionality

(C) Martin Thorley, 2010
This entry was published on May 13, 2010 / Martin. Posted in Project Management, Business Analysis, Roles and Responsibilities. Bookmark the Permalink or E-mail it to a friend.
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Leslie posted on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 10:54 AM
Excellent! Made my morning.

undrkvabrtha posted on Wednesday, June 30, 2010 5:52 PM
absolute gold mate!
Neeta posted on Friday, July 16, 2010 6:25 PM
So very true !!!!
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